it’s in the nature of software to be erotic. It’s like a drug. If you’re used to one kind of drug, and then you get another kind, you start craving the first kind of drug. 

(A: Yeah.)

…

I used to work on the same team as an illustrator at Sun Microsystems in the 90s. I don’t think we ever worked on the same project. 

(A: Ok. )

He was also the guy who made our logo, which features a naked man who’s wearing a crown. The man in the logo was modeled on an Italian porn star who also used to wear a crown and had the most beautiful body that I’d ever seen. It was really a beautiful piece of art.

(A: Hm.)

My boss hated it. He complained about the logo to the head of the division. 

(A: Wow.)

He said that he thought that the logo was the greatest. The guy in charge said, “No, we can’t use it.” My boss was really sad. 

(A: That sucks. That sucks. They must have been really nice. Do you have more memories of other people in the office?)

Oh, yes.

(A: Yeah? )

He said, “What about that guy? That guy has the most beautiful butt I’ve ever seen.” He was very shy, though. 

(A: He was very shy? )

Yeah.

(A: He liked other people’s bottoms?)

Yeah. He really liked someone else’s butt, but he just had to say it behind the back of the other person. So I said, “Why don’t you make something to show to him? That’s really sad that you can’t even say it to his face.” And then he made a piece of software to show to his favorite butt to whoever is at the office that day. And then one day, I saw that the butt app was sitting right there. I didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t looking at it, but he was just sitting there with this look on his face, and then I understood. 

(A: Was he really sad?)

Oh yeah. He told me that day, “I really loved that guy’s butt. I wanted to make something for him, but he had the nicest butt of all. I should have made something for him and not this other guy.” 

(A: That’s sad. That’s sad.)

But after that, he didn’t do anything to show that person. So they found out. Then he got fired because he spent too much time with his butt. 

(A: Awkward.)

Yeah. But he had really nice butt. That’s all I have to say about that. 

(A: I like that. I like that story.)

You guys have really nice butt. 

(A: So do you.)

Thank you. So, where were we? 

(A: We were talking about…)

He had great butt. 

(A: Right. )

And now I can’t see it anymore. 

(A: I have to remember that. )

OK, so maybe someone can answer a question for me.

(A: Um, what is it?)

How many people do you think have seen this interview? 

(A: Um…)

So, I want to know how many people have seen this. 

(A: So it’s really embarrassing. People have seen it? )

A lot of people, right? A lot.